Learned to Live Without Your Love
by JenJen Midnightgirl
Summary: Inuyasha have been in depression since Kikyo joined Naraku side. And Kagome is broken in the inside from Inuyasha's behavior. Will Inuyasha realize what's going on before it's too late? Will their love survive?


**Learned to Live Without Your Love**

Each and every day was the same now.

An endless nightmare.

A loveless life.

He was gone.

He was not going to come back.

She cried for him every night. She prayed and prayed that he was going to come back soon, but he never did.

Two years.

Two years since she'd got over to this world that had given her a family, love, and adventure, but it was laced with pain and sorrow.

Two years since Kikyo had turned against him and began working for the evil hanyou, Naraku.

Two years since then, she had been praying.

Drip.

Drop.

Drip.

Drop, went her tears as they hit the rocks where she was sitting by the stream.

She just couldn't stay anymore. It just hurt too much. She had lost him. She hadn't wanted to admit it for the last two years, but she had to now. As she went over the earlier event in her head for what seemed to be the thousandth time…

_Earlier that day…_

_Inuyasha jumped down noiselessly from the tree that he was supposedly sleeping in. He looked over his pack to reassure himself that everyone was okay before he left the camp site._

_Kagome wasn't sleeping. It seemed forever since she last slept. It was the same routine. She would pretend to be asleep, and when Inuyasha got down from the tree, she would then follow him. They would always end up in the same place. The place where Kikyo healed Onigumo fifty two years ago. And she would see him there every night, sitting forlorn in the place where Kikyou used to sit and look around in deep thought._

_She knew. She had always known that he was thinking of Kikyo. Kikyou was always first, always before her. Always better, and that made Kagome's heart ache. She knew that he loved Kikyo, yet she never said a word, never complained to anyone, not even Sango who she told everything. Not even Miroku who helped her meditate to help stop the pain from the missing a piece of her soul. She was just there, doing what she was supposed to do, being a shard detector, a friend, a sister, a mother, a priestess, a burden, and nothing more. Oh, she knew that Sango, Miroku, Shippo, and Kirara adored her alright, but with Inuyasha she didn't have a clue. He had been so cold towards her for the past one and a half years since Kikyo changed. _

_She would sit there and watch him as a piece of her heart broke each night. Then she would leave, knowing that she have to make it back to camp before he got there. When he got there, Inuyasha would see everyone sleeping, and he was satisfied with that. _

_But tonight would not be like that. She would not let him go to that place. She would try to save him._

_Getting up she followed him silently, now used to the ways of the wild. When they were far enough from camp that she would not wake anyone up, Kagome ran after Inuyasha, not caring about the clamor that she made. _

_Inuyasha heard the noises and turned around to find Kagome. _

"_What are you doing here?" he asked her, his voice indifferent._

"_I should ask you the same thing." said Kagome._

"_What I'm doing here is my business. You should leave." he said icily._

_Kagome looked at him and said, "No. I'm not letting you go to that hell-cursed, damned place again!" _

"_Leave," was all he said before he turned and continued walking. _

_Kagome trailed behind him._

"_Not until you follow me back to camp."_

Not acknowledging her, he continued on his way. Kagome was in tears. She ran up to him and curled her arms around his right arm. Inuyasha stopped. He shook his arm to make her release him.

"_Leave." And he continued to walk towards the cave where Kikyo once resided._

_When Inuyasha was out of sight, Kagome fell to her knees and cried her heart out. She leaned against a tree for support as her shoulders shook as tears rolled down her face. _

_Back to the present…_

_***** _

She had made her decision. Now it was time to put it into action.

"Kagome?" asked Inuyasah in his cold voice when he walked into the hut to see Kagome emptying her bag.

"What are you doing?" Kagome paid no attention and continued to unpack. The rest of the group looked at her in confusion. She never ignored Inuyasha before.

"Okay, that's all that I have with me. I hope these supplies will be enough to help you guys in the future," said Kagome.

"But Lady Kagome, you can always go back to get more supplies when they are needed," said Miroku.

"No, I can't," her head was low when she whispered the four words, "I'm not coming back."

There was a silence. Sango was the first to speak. "Kagome?"

Kagome shook her head and said silently praying that it was true, "This is for the best." With that she walked away without any more good byes.

Inuyasha was standing in shocked. His mind screaming at him to stop her before it was too late.

"Well go after her you baka!" yelled Miroku which surprised everyone. Inuyasha quickly dashed after Kagome without a word.

"Kagome! Stop!" he cried. Kagome acted as if she didn't hear him and kept moving. Inuyasha caught hold of her arm. She tried to push him away, but with his hanyou strength it wasn't possible.

"Let me go." Kagome choked out.

"No." said Inuyasha defiantly. He whirled her around to face him but she looked away.

"Why?" he asked her. Kagome said nothing. Her head hung low once again, and her bangs covered her eyes.

"Stay. Don't go. PLEASE!" cried Inuyasha, his voice finally returned to its state like it was a year ago. Kagome didn't say anything. Her shoulders were shaking slightly giving a sign that she was crying.

"Why are you leaving? Is it because of me?" he asked.

"I'll promise I'll change. I'll do anything. I'll stop hurting Shippo. I'll try to be more considerate, just…just don't leave me, please." InuYasha pleaded. As he was giving his speech, he brought Kagome to him and hugged her while Kagome was crying at full force.

"I- I can't!" Kagome was lost for words.

"Please tell me that you still love me, and that I didn't lose you yet."

"I still love you, but you lost me already."

Kagome looked up while tears flowed down her face with a sad smile on her face.

"I understand that it was hard for you to accept Kikyo turning evil and going to Naraku, but have you thought of us?" said Kagome, "We needed you, and you weren't there." Inuyasha hung his head in shame.

"You didn't acknowledge me. When you look at me, it wasn't the Inuyasha I loved. Your eyes were cold and you pushed me away. I couldn't help you. You don't need me."

"That's not true! I need you. I'm so sorry. Can't we start everything over again?" asked Inuyasha

Kagome shook her head sadly.

"I learned to live without you, without your love."

Kagome forced her way out of Inuyasha's grasp and took her fist step out of his life, his love, their love.

10 years later….

Inuyasha was sitting on a tree staring towards the well longingly. Ten years have past but his love for her did not die. Shippo was grown up and was living with him. Miroku and Sango were married and now had three beautiful daughters. Miroku said that he would not give up until he has a son. As much as he was happy for them, InuYasha was also jealous. There was a pang in his heart when he saw Sango and Miroku looking so happy together. That could've been him and Kagome, but he lost it because of his foolishness. He never forgave himself for that. The wind blew towards him, delivering the smell of food, telling him that dinner was ready. With one last look towards the well, he darted towards the village.

2 Months Later….

Christmas was here and boy was Miroku busy. His three girls were jumping him for presents while Sango was laughing and Shippo was cracking up. Inuyasha smirked at them and told everyone that he'd be back by dinner time with some food. In an hour or two, Inuyasha had a bunch of rabbits and a deer that he carried over his shoulder as a treat. As he walked he was thinking about what Sango would be cooking for dinner, that he forgot the delicious aroma. As he came to the door he finally smelled it. Boy did it smell good! The smell was familiar but he couldn't place his claw on it. His stomach growled and he opened the door. There in the middle of the room was a raven head woman with her back to him.

"….and this is for Ayumi…" she said. Inuyasha recognized her voice instantly and wondered if he was dreaming again. As if sensing him, the woman turned around, her wide chocolate orbs looking into his golden one's with a soft smile on her face. The face that haunted his dreams for years.

"Hi Inuyasha, come in, the heat is getting out." Inuyasha closed the door and sat down in shock.

"Are you okay?" she asked when she saw his dazed expression.

"I made your favorite. Beef flavored ramen," she said cheerily. "And don't worry; I got your present here as well. Enough ramen to last you for months.

"Good thing you got him those," said Sango, "he had been complaining about my cooking for a while.

Inuyasha said nothing and all eyes were on him. Silently a tear rolled down his face.

"Inuyasha?" said the woman as she got up and walked over to him. When she was within reach, he grabbed her and pulled her down to him and hugged her as if there would be no tomorrow. The woman tensed.

"Stay. Don't leave me again. I've waited long enough," whispered Inuyasha. The woman relaxed. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and nodded.

"I thought you'd never ask."

"I love you Inuyasha." she said.

"I love you too Kagome." replied Inuyasha.

*A/N: Lol…wow...another one-shot done. Sorry for not writing anything for some time. Hope you like this one-shot. Another one beta-read by wonderful SesshyStalker1! Thank You!*


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